1. Whew. Finally. We landed.
2. Let the party begin!
3 .Oh no. Immigration.
4. Am I citizen here or a visitor?
5. Why am I having to think about that?
6. Can I blame jet lag?
7. Okay, I think I'm in the right line.
8. Why do I feel nervous?
9. Yay! My turn!
10. Why am I carrying so much stuff?
11. And what on earth happened to my passport?
12. Whew! Got it.
13. Um.. yes, sir. I was gone 7 days.. I mean 9 days. 9 DAYS!
14. I'm going to jail.
15. Well, my dear friend from college lives there. She moved there about 3 years ago....
16. Oh, you don't really care.
17. Why do you need to know what I do for a living?
18. Are we chitchatting or are you trying to trick me?
19. Am I babbling now? Stop talking.
20. Now I'm sweating. WHAT IS HAPPENING??
21. I've done nothing wrong!
22. Retinal scan? Sure, why not? Check out those peepers, baby!
23. Digital fingerprint?
24. Okay, do I need a lawyer?
25. I'm definitely going to jail.
26. Oh ok, welcome home. Thanks? That's oddly friendly now that I'm shaking.
27. Customs, here I come!
28. Wow. This form is intense.
29. What on earth IS in my suitcase?
30. Fruits, Vegetables, Plants, seeds, yada, yada...
31. I have a tres leches cake in my backpack. Does that count?
32. Ok, livestock.
33. Did I actually touch any of those chickens or stray dogs?
34. I don't think so, so no...
35. Hmmm... AM I carrying more than $10,000 USD?
36. Wait. Why am I calculating? I seriously brought like $200 on this trip.
37. Almost done.
38. Commercial merchandise.
39. My sister is planning to reimburse me for a shirt.
40. But I guess that's not what they're talking about.
41. Total value of merchandise I purchased abroad? Souvenirs, gifts...
42. Wow. I feel like I'm a kinda cheap gift-giver.
43. Okay, signed. Done.
44. Let's do this, America!
45. Hi there, kind customs agent. Here's my form.
46. Oh geez. More questions.
47. Can't you see I'm shaky and sweaty and clearly should not be questioned?
48. Fine. Yeah, my suitcase is mostly clothes and shoes and miniature toiletries.
49. Oh, and this cake.
50. Cake's okay? Score!
51. Thank you. Have a nice day.