How to Survive A Snake Attack: A Drama Queen's Guide

Image credit: Brent Myers
I'm standing in front of the mirror in our hotel room in Mexico. Suddenly, a long, skinny, limp creature lands on my shoulder.

Given that we had watched a documentary about illegal reptile trade the night before, I knew immediately what was happening. A poisonous Mexican snake had sailed through the open window and attacked me. Naturally.

I reacted as I feel anyone would in my situation.

I screamed bloody murder and jump-lunged towards the sink area of the room all the while "brushing it off" like a frenzied Jimmy Fallon. I then crashed to the ground, slamming my shins on the tile.

Meanwhile, Billy is laughing hysterically from the bed and then rushing to my side. He laid down next to me on the floor. I'm clutching my legs while he's just shaking and laughing in my line of vision.

"Vos, it was a shoelace! I tossed it on your shoulder. I didn't expect you to react like that!"

"DID YOU JUST MEET ME????" I bellowed while laugh-crying from relief and rolling around clutching my shins.

"I mean," he put his head down and laughed again, "both your feet were off the floor and sideways! At first I was laughing, and then I was like oh no, she's really going to hurt herself."

I rolled my eyes, and we laid on the floor laughing. Then he continued, "This is not how I thought you would die."

"OH MY WORD! How exactly did you imagine my death???" I'm just going to chalk this up to a bilingual marriage moment because now that I think about, we both just howl laughed and the question was avoided.

Did I overreact? How would you respond if a vicious snake landed on your shoulder?


  1. Melissa Ledbetter10:32 AM

    I would die. That's it.

  2. Ha! I knew I wasn't crazy. ;)


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