QUOTE

The One Where I Accidentally Stole Drugs


Sometimes these things happen. Sometimes I find myself in situations where I am naively blind to what is really going on. That and I have a hard time telling people “no.”

In this particular case, I was riding the Greyhound bus. I mean, if you want a have a phenomenal cultural experience… ride Greyhound. It. Is. Awesome. (I hear MegaBus is all the rage these days. We’ve nearly bought tickets a couple times, but it didn’t work out. I look forward to adding them to my travel repertoire.)

I was traveling with a friend, but when we boarded, there was no room to sit together. I sat down next a skinny, white girl in her early 20’s. She talked a lot, referred to herself in the third person… oh, and in that 3rd person, she was called “Big Girl.”

Big Girl told a long, circuitous story about some kind of court appearance, which was why she was riding the bus. I think her license had been revoked.

As the bus plodded along, several passengers fell asleep. I wanted to be one of these travelers, but Big Girl chattered on. The guy in front of us across the aisle had, however, dozed off. It was then that Big Girl noticed a small baggie that had fallen under his seat.

“What do you think that is?” she asked me.

“I don’t know.”

“You think it’s drugs?”

“I don’t know,” I responded again, wondering if it’s too late to pretend to be asleep.

She waited a few minutes, eyeing the sleeping man and the unsupervised baggie. I became engrossed in anything else. But nope… we weren’t through.

“Think you can reach it?” she finally ventured.

 I leaned forward pathetically, barely lifting my arm. “No, I don’t think so.”

More moments passed. “What if you stand up?” she offered.

Now what am I supposed to do? If you have a better idea, please share. My lack of ability to say “no” took over, and I’m out of my seat, reaching under the sleeping man’s chair, and snagging an unidentified bag.

Big Girl and I huddled over the find in our seat. She examined it thoroughly before proclaiming, “It’s just trash.”

Not knowing exactly how to respond, I heard myself saying, “Awh, man.” Hey, we still had a couple hours left together on our trip.

After a while, the bus emptied out. And even though I felt awkward since Big Girl and I had become “friends,” I did eventually move to sit with my “before-this-bus-trip” friend.

Still, Big Girl has remained a part of my life immortalized in this memory of that time I accidentally stole drugs.

Have you ever ridden Greyhound? Any “unusual” experiences?

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