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My Most Embarrassing Date (aka Why You Should Never Go Into a Pool Bathroom)


I hate swimming pool bathrooms. Like, seriously. I guess no one really loves them, but I've spent time thinking about why I don't like them.

First of all, they are always shockingly dark after you’ve been out in the sun. And of course, they are crowded with preteens. And most importantly, they are always, always wet. 

Everything is mysteriously wet: the floor, the toilet seat, the strings of unused (or used) toilet paper on the floor. (For the love, please tell me those are unused!) You can’t think too much about the science behind it all when you're in there, or you’ll simply run out screaming.

The first summer I knew Billy - when we'd just started dating - we spent one Saturday at the pool. It was with great trepidation and dread that I entered the bathroom.

I loved Old Navy flip flops. In fact, I’d owned the same pair for probably a gazillion years and they were perfectly worn in. They also had very little traction left. You might see where this is going…

I walked into the bathroom and promptly did a cartoon running man slip, nearly landed in a gymnast-like split, but instead fell belly first onto the damp concrete. 


I froze, thoroughly disgusted.

Then, I thought, “Ewwwww! I’m belly-down in these mystery puddles!” So I did what anyone in my situation would do: I flipped over onto my back.

That's when I saw them.

Staring at me were two preteen girls, watching what - in reality - was now me rolling around on the bathroom floor. I stood up with the grace of a pregnant cow, covered in what I can only pray was dirt and pool water tracked in on others’ shoes.

When I emerged from the bathroom - a butterfly reborn, Billy just stared. Rather than address my sludge sheen directly, he just asked, “What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it," was all I could say. Then I jumped into the pool to wash away the memories.

To this day, when I need to use a public restroom, Billy will call behind me, “I know you like to roll around on the floor. Just be careful.” Thanks.

Have you ever embarrassed yourself on a date? Do tell.

P.S. This post is part of a series about how I met my husband. If you want to start from the beginning, click here. Or if you want to continue on to how he awkwardly first brings up marriage, click here.

5 comments

  1. I have am amazing mental picture of you right now!

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  2. To quote my three year old son, "Oh-my-goodness. That-is-alarious!"

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  3. Anonymous1:02 PM

    Am finally reading your love story, and I'll have you know that I am spending today's lunch break walking around a deserted field, with headphones on, which actually might not be smart, reading your stories on my iPhone-- and am laughing! I miss you, Sarah!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awh... thanks. I miss you, too! Who is this? :)

      Delete

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