QUOTE

You Kinda Look Like Me

Take a look at that driver's license picture and tell me yours is not good. Every time I look at it I hear the news caster in my mind: "The child was last seen with this woman….” My face is flashing on the mental screen.

I love to pass this photo around because people never know exactly how to react. I can make fun of it… but are they allowed? Did I just wake up? Am I wearing a shirt? I mean, what is going on here? I did tell one of my co-workers I was going for a serial killer look. She laughed and said matter-of-factly, “You nailed it.”

It's cool. I have long known that I'm not super photogenic... this was no earth-shattering news at the DMV. I smile too big or I look too serious or my eyes are crazy.... it happens.

Still, when I look at this image, something new has come to light that I never saw before. It is with deep joy and wild enthusiasm that I share some long-awaited and highly-sought after news. I have finally discovered a trait that I have passed on to Gabriella.

It hasn’t been easy. From the moment she was born, all I have heard is “She’s like a little Billy!”  Yes, what every mother wants to hear after she awakens from baby surgery is “Are you sure she’s yours?” I mean, technically, I couldn’t be certain. After a few too many jokes about how I hoped to go to sleep and wake up a mother, I was transported to 1960 and was having a twilight sleep birth.Whoops... I guess I should be more clear with the doctors next time. Clearly, my brand of humor is not appreciated... or understood.

One of my only memories from my foggy, drug-induced state was telling Billy to “follow that baby and put a ‘Q’ on her foot.” It’s strangely comforting to know that even when my system has been compromised I’ve still got a place for paranoia… and nice to know another circumstance when a Sharpie comes in handy.

But I don’t care about her favoring her father because… well, they’re both cute. And besides, I was holding out for my own secret prize: Handedness. Is that a word? Oh, I love being left-handed. Forget the pencil smudges and cursed spiral notebooks... (will my daughter even know what these ancient writing methods are?) Being left-handed is worth any diner booth rearrangements or scissor mix-ups in Sunday School. Surprisingly, I often find myself in both work and personal circles that tend to be dominated by left-handers. Yes, we dominate.

We do not, however, dominate in the game that is genetic roulette. Since Gabriella has recently taken to coloring, I am devastated to observe that she keeps grabbing the crayon in her right hand… no matter how many times I try and shove it into that little left one. It turns out I have nothing to offer her but a big pile of recessive traits.

But this week… it happened. She went with her father to the YMCA and had her ID picture taken. Whereas I imagine he smiled adorably and produced a socially appropriate happy photo, Gabriella did not mirror that trait in her papa. Nope, she followed her mother's lead. 

Now… is that a baby you’d like to meet in a dark alley? I don’t think so! That’s my baby! And how do I know? Look at that face… no one can learn how to take an ID picture like that. It’s gotta be genetic! 


7 comments

  1. This is Hilarious!!!
    Congratulations Sarah!!!

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  2. Thanks so much, Shawn! :)

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  3. ha! wonderful!!! fyi things could still change... May used to look like her father and now she's starting to favor me. love it :o)

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  4. Too funny! ;) I am the only one in my extended family that is left-handed. :( My oldest son is definitely a righty and it seems that perhaps my second will be ambidextrous? (I am slightly) We shall see about the girls!

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  5. Adia, I am glad to hear that encouraging news! And Krista... here's to hoping for the girls! Being left-handed is pretty much the coolest thing ever... Thank you both for reading and commenting. Glad you enjoyed it!

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  6. So funny!
    ps - I'm secretly hoping my future children are lef-handed like me. My dad is left-handed and so was my grandpa so I'm hoping the tradition continues!

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  7. Alyssa! Yes! I hope your kiddos are left-handed, too! Neither of my parents are, but my sister and I both are. It's a mysterious gift. :)

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