Two females are more likely to fight to the death than males are. It’s as if neither is willing to admit the other girl is “better than” she is, so they cannot come to a stable pack order. The males make that decision more readily in some cases, but the one who has to be submissive can take it more to heart than the female.
Taken from: “Adding a Second Dog to Your Family” on veterinarypartner.com
A couple months ago, we had a new roommate move into our house, and she was bringing her dog. The day the duo was supposed to arrive I decided to do a little “googling” about how to transition our home from one pup to two. Imagine my horror when I read the statement quoted above. Imagine my even greater trepidation when I thought too long about such an encounter between my Daisy, a mid-sized golden retriever, and Libby, the Mastiff/Labrador/Pitt Bull mix. It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out which girl will win that encounter.
What is up with girls?
I wish I could say these “flights to the death” are relegated to the animal world, but human females seem to also wildly resist any admission that another girl might be “better than” she is at anything. And women relationships suffer for it.
When processing applications for Mission Year, we ask our women if they have any preference in regards to an all-female team or a co-ed team. Many do not, but there are also many applicants who explain that they struggle with female relationships and will do better in a co-ed environment. I think I wrote something similar on my application to Mission Year ten years ago.
Looking back, one of the greatest blessings I took away from my Mission Year experience was the authentic experience of women friendships. I was on a co-ed team, but my relationships with the two other girls in my house, as well as other women in my city, stretched me and encouraged me and blessed me in astounding ways. This lesson was of profound importance to me, and I am so thankful I had the opportunity to grow. Many women have impacted my life since, and I’m so thankful I haven’t missed out.
As for Libby and Daisy, they are now ridiculously inseparable. They play together all day long, taking breaks only to nap in close proximity. I am expressly grateful that no fights turned deadly. I hope more women can say the same.
What have been your experiences in women friendships? Do you see these patterns or others?